I have found that I constantly try and do things in my own
strength and not in God's. It's stupid I know... I don't know
why I think I could do anything better then if I just trusted
him in it and let him guide me. I have noticed lately me
falling flat on my face more and more and I just wonder
what does it look like to truly rely on him for everything?
I think sometimes we jus get to be such control freaks that
everything has to look the way we think it she looks.
God is so creative and he works things out in ways we
never would have thought and I think sometimes that
can be alittle scary not really knowing how its all going to workout.
I've heard that if we do the possible God will do the impossible.
God wants us to pour ourselves into the things that our on his heart.
God has been breaking my heart for so many things lately.
Especially in the area of medical missions and there is a school I want
to do through YWAM called the IPHC (Introduction to Primary Health Care)
it's been so fraustrating cause I just want to go and do it. I feel
so confused I think God is asking my to stay on staff for one
more year but it's so hard me to think that I might not be
going out of the country for one more year. God has been laying
so many countries on my heart and hurts to think that I won't be able
to do what I'm really passionate about for another year.
I like working at the base. I love the people ad I like the jobs that I do,
but the don't give me life I don't get excited about them.
I feel like I'm in this lull in life right now like I'm kind of stuck.
So I'm really praying that God will give me a clear vision of what
he wants me to do.
